I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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