i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
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