It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
