Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
