I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
