We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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