I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
