marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
