That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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