I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Someone came in the potted fern
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My feet surprised me
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