You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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