I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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