Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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