Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I need to sanitize my soul.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
