is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
