do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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