apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
