I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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