DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
