Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
