so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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