Soap is not a condiment
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
