She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
