Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
