What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You left your phone here
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