She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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