My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
