fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
