Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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