I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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