Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
