Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
