It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
