have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize