i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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