if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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