ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
