That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
