its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
