Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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