He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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