Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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