did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
