But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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