Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
