using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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