Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
