apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i came on her dog
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
