man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
