im having a threesome with these popsicles
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
