so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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