just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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