I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
