There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
