I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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