This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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