dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
