And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize