This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
