Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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