Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
