I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
