I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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